mozaikmage

I finished this book and told my friends "I don't think I like reading anymore."

The Honey Witch broke me. 

I've read bad books before. I'm kind of a hater, honestly. But I've never read a book that fails so comprehensively on every possible level after being put out by a big 5 imprint with at least two editors and a literary agent having worked on it.

From basic grammar errors (you don't go on walks "throughout" an island, you walk "around" it) to logical inconsistencies (the entire premise of the stupid curse) to whole sections that read more like outlines of chapters than actual chapters, to structural problems (why do we open with Marigold's family stuff instead of her with her grandma already? Why do we fast forward past her relationship with her grandma developing to her grief? Why did we establish that tattoos were illegal and that Lottie has them in the SAME conversation??), this book felt like reading a teenager's first nanowrimo attempt. I've read Wattpad novels with stronger fundamentals than this (admittedly not many but still.)

I returned the book immediately after finishing because it felt like having it in my home was a cognitohazard but here's some examples from the free preview on Google Books:

"Now close your eyes and drink this. When you open them again, tell me what you see."

She takes the honey potion that will allow her to access her full power. 

How does she know the honey potion will do this? Why didn't Grandma just say that? Why is it in narration like this? 

Then there's this part of a conversation where Marigold's dad lets her go with Grandma:

"Because I know your grandmother very well, and your siblings, and most of all, I know you. And I know what you've always wanted. That's why I never stopped you before, and I'm not stopping you now."

"But mother--"

"I know her, too. She is only trying to protect you, so much so that she cannot see how it is harming you. Perhaps it is the artist in me, but I've always thought it so romantic to have beauty and creation as your purpose. And that is the life ahead of you, Marigold. I have every confidence in you. Your mother will see that soon, too."

This conversation happens way too fast, and it's severely lacking in body language or other descriptions for Marigold's dad. The last paragraph especially should be broken up into smaller pieces. Yeah, you don't technically need dialogue tags for a conversation between two people when you know who's talking, but the rhythm here is just shot!

I have a big problem when I write my own stuff of not expanding enough about things that matter, which is why all of my attempts at novels come out too short on the first pass. It's kind of infuriating to see a properly book-length book have the same kind of structural issues I run into at half that length. Like surely someone could've told you to expand this at the draft stage right.

Other people have talked about the tattoo thing, the inconsistent curse, the bee death and revival, the grumpy sunshine romance that's only grumpy sunshine aesthetically and actually grumpy/grumpier in practice, but what bothered me the most was the... Bad sentences, that led to bad everything else.

The author mentioned she wanted to write about the grief she felt over losing her grandmother, which surprised me because I'm very close to my own grandparents and am highly sensitive to fictional media where grandparents are harmed in any way (the opening to the Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors always made me cry as a kid because I love my grandma too much to be mean to her like that lmao). The bonding with the grandma part, grandma dying, and grief processing in the Honey Witch were all so glanced over in favor of the romance that should not be happening in the first place due to the whole curse situation that it barely even registered to me. 

Naomi Kanakia said no matter how old you are or how well read you are, your first attempt at serious writing will always read like a 12 year old is doing it. I felt this very strongly here. It was that bad on a basic sentence level. I wish the author had like, practiced her craft more before she started querying this book. She mentions revisions and beta readers and multiple drafts on her blog, but I can't even imagine how much worse that first draft could've even been if this was what it looked like after significant editing. I wish someone fucking stopped it from making it to press in this state.

If this was self published or a kindle exclusive niche thing I'd be like whatever, but this was put out by fucking Orbit! Respected SFF imprint of Hachette! In the US and the UK! Every single person who was supposed to make this book better failed at their goddamn job, and it made me lose faith in the publishing industry as a whole.